No awkward lesbian experiences without me
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
