After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
