you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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