it hurts more in the daytime
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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