Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
