chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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