love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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