WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
