I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
