i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
