She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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