just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
