literally had 100 drinks last night.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
he fucked my hip out of place.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
