If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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