so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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