Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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