I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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