If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Randomize
