Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
