Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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