Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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