So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize