One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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