Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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