u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
you traded sex for a burrito?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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