I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
