If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
COCAINE IS GR8
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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