I bet he comes in French.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
