Apparently you make a good broom.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
They should really pass out barf bags in church
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
