I hope mine doesn't look like that
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
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