do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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