That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
