I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
