Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Randomize
