Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
