real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
