Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
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