All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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