I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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