I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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