Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
