i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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