she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
