it wasn't lemon gatorade
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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