honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I'm passing your future prison.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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