butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
