even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I am one with the molecules
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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