Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I'm at about main and main street
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
