So drunk its hurt
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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