I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Randomize
