We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I love you.
Bad choice
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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