you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
