I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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