And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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