I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
