Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
