The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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