every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize