Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
