So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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