Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'm both gender and math confused
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
