I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
