i just google imaged poop.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
