operation have a gay friend backfired
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
