And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
